dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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