So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
