the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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