btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
