Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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