you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
