Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i think my cat just said my name.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
