My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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