She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
