so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
