I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
