Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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