All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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