After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
