Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
