Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
