I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My first STD was from a foam party
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
