home. puking in laundry basket.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
