It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
