he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
