Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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