Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize