He uses pillows to masturbate.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
