Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ketchup is God's man juice
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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