there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
