Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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