I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
