FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize