big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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