Already got asked if we're dating
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
