I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
