I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize