you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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