Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
