If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he puts the penis in happiness.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
