Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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