it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
