I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
