Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
