Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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