I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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