This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Randomize