And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
