Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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