my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm both gender and math confused
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
