oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
