It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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