# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
