dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
