I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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