By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
