i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
