i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
