I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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