Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You ruined the universe
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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