she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
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