My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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