She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I enjoy the company of your penis
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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