He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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