Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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