i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
