I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
