She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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