the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
