Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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