Nicole vs. Life
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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