who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
