Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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