pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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