:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
