Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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