i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
