I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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