we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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