Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
